Do we have a dark side that we can’t help it? The self-responsible answer is no. It’s a character choice that needs to be consistent over time.
The process between the conscious and the unconscious goes as follows:
Every action and thought is motivated by the unconscious at some level. Some motives are temporarily not acted out as long as the mechanism of repression works. Distraction, stress, sleep deprivation, and drunkenness can release repressed behavior by activating the subconscious. Whatever we plant in our subconscious mind and nourish with repetition and emotion will one day become a reality. Therefore, there is no excuse for the stressed or drunkard who ask what took possession of them. All behavior in any situation, including the subconscious surfacing, is created through the conscious. One can only act out what was before accepted to be put into the self. Consequently, to learn to behave by suppressing unwanted behavior (i.e., because fearing negative social consequences) is not the goal. Instead, one should cultivate thoughts and a worldview that can only generate desirable behavior under any circumstances.
I do agree that we can choose how to go about our thoughts and emotions, how to respond to external influences. At the same time, when there is a physical disbalance (like hormonal or other chemical disbalance), it might not always be possible to control our emotions.
Good point, thanks! It is not easy for sure. However, that’s what I encourage for; to learn to go through disbalances even. What is a disbalance for one person (e.g., subjectively strong emotion/feeling, respectively incl. biochemical levels/constellations) would be neglectable for another individual. Humans are incredibly adaptable beings, not only to their environment but also their bodies and inner world. It starts with awareness, and a learning process is required. Therefore I (partially:-)) agree that there are moments when the ideal response is not (yet) possible. However, this should (and has) never to be necessary in the mid-/longterm.